Saturday 18 June 2016

Tim Peake enjoys first normal piss in six months


Tim Peake, astronaut back on earth

The relief of standing in front of a urinal can not be underestimated, according to British astronaut Tim Peake this morning.

After landing back safely on Earth in a Soyuz capsule following 186 days on the International Space Station, Peake explained he was dying for the loo.

He was quickly assessed by medical professionals before disappearing into a portable toilet at the landing site in Kazakhstan.

When he returned a few minutes later, he spoke to the press explaining, “It’s really great going to the toilet and not having to worry about turning around and walking directly into a floating splash of your own piss.

“Or worse, somebody else’s.

“Going to the loo down here is great, it just comes out of you and heads down into the drain – seriously, you people have no idea how spoiled you are down here with all this lovely gravity.

“I bet hardly any of you are constantly covered in specks of urine.”

Peake went on to explain that he was looking forward to a pint that stayed in the glass, and the lovely satisfying piss he’ll have afterwards.

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