Friday 17 June 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Man believes people give a shit about his ‘7 songs that stayed with him’


7 songs that stayed with me

A man has carefully collated his ‘7 songs that have stayed with him’ on Facebook over the last week in the mistaken belief that anyone gives a shit.

Simon Williams began posting his seven songs exactly a week ago with the words ‘Thank you to Eleanor for nominating me,’ like he’d made the shortlist for the Nobel Peace prize.

Mr Williams’ first song was Sit Down by James. For reasons known only to Mr Williams, he saw fit to accompany the video with a tedious anecdote about taking drugs in the toilets of a shitty overpriced student disco in some culture-forsaken Northern ‘town’ where he studied IT in the nineties.

The second song was The Living Years by Mike and the Mechanics, accompanied by the short, poignant phrase ‘For Dad’.

Mr Williams’ Dad is understood to loathe the record.

Other songs include Killer by Adamski, Song for Whoever by Beautiful South – ‘Just listen to the lyrics, brilliant,’ Gangsters’ Paradise by Coolio – ‘I don’t do rap, but this is what it’s really like on the streets of America,’ Mardy Bum by the Arctic Monkeys – ‘a great new Indie Band,’ and with grim inevitability, fucking Texas.

Mr Williams has lost 42 Facebook friends in the past week.

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