Monday 13 June 2016

Referendum campaigns running out of things for you to be scared of


EU referendum using fear

Both sides of the referendum campaign have taken to social media to search for new things to frighten you with.

After Vote Leave claimed that staying in the EU will result in vast rises in clowns with sharp teeth sleeping under your bed, the Remain camp said leaving the EU would result in more unannounced week-long visits from your Mother-in-law.

With the UK electorate demonstrating more clearly than ever that they are more willing to vote against things that scare them than vote in support of things they like, both sides have stepped up the fear rhetoric.

A spokesperson for the Remain campaign said, “We’ve done recession, taxes, pensions and unemployment – so today we’re doing mothers-in-law, hand-sized house spiders and bin juice.

“We’d planned to be talking about the positive things the EU has done, like workers rights, the single-market and its associated economic growth, or allowing us to visit and work in Europe more easily than ever – but no-one’s interested, so spiders dipped in bin juice it is.”

A spokesperson for Vote Leave said, “We’ve done immigrants, house prices and terrorism – so today we’re doing clowns with pointed teeth, wasps, and the bits of food that get stuck in the plug hole after washing up.

“We’d planned to be talking about the positive things we could do outside of the EU, like negotiating our own trade deal with China, creating production standards optimised for British businesses or even creating an international workforce that more accurately meets our needs, but no-one’s interested, so clowns under your bed it is.”

Voters across the country have said they have almost decided who to vote for, and will visit the polling booths on 23th June as long as they are not still paralysed by fear.

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