Saturday 11 June 2016 by Neil Tollfree

George Osborne arrives at Queen’s birthday service in hi-viz jacket and helmet


Osborne hi-vis

There were embarrassing scenes at St Paul’s prior to the service in honour of the Queen’s 90th birthday as Chancellor George Osborne arrived in his signature hi-viz jacket and helmet.

“Well, I couldn’t bally believe it,” said another guest.

“It was a formal occasion dedicated to the monarch hosted by the archbishop, and George pitches up in his hi-viz jacket and helmet.

“Bally disgrace.”

It also appears that there were some personal hygiene issues.

“That’s the problem with George, he wears these bally things all the time and frankly, with all due respect, the Chancellor has a very smelly helmet, and you definitely should not come to St. Paul’s with a smelly bally helmet.

“It’s just not done.”

Ultimately the situation was resolved when the Archbishop Justin Welby told Mr Osborne that he wasn’t ‘wearing that silly f**king jacket in my church.’

However, the situation has an interesting postscript.

After the Queen had sat down, it became apparent that her throne had a wonky leg, and as it is against an ancient law to have a wonky monarch in church on Friday, it looked like the whole proceeding would have to be abandoned.

Happily, though, the Chancellor came to the rescue by donning his hi-viz jacket and helmet and placing a folded beer mat under the offending throne leg.

Mr Osborne then removed the items out of respect for the occasion, but throughout the service a satisfied smile played on his lips.

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