Wednesday 8 June 2016

Floating EU voters torn between being raped by migrants or losing job and home


EU referendum vote

Those voters who remain undecided on how to vote in the EU referendum have explained they are struggling to decide between staying in and being raped by migrants, or leaving and losing their jobs and homes.

With voter registration now closed, it is believed those voters who are currently undecided will ultimately decide the fate of the Great Britain and the EU.

Undecided voter Jennifer Williams said, “I’ve heard all the arguments from both sides, and I’ve got to be honest, I’m still completely torn.

“On one hand I really don’t want to be unemployed and homeless, but on the other I really don’t want to be gang raped by migrants and refugees.

“I’m not naive enough to think I can avoid them both, so I know it’s a decision I have to make, and soon.

“I’ve spoken at length to my husband and though we both hate the idea of me being sexually violated by gangs of men allowed into the country through the EU’s open borders policy, we have just redecorated the living room so it would be real shame to lose the house now.”

“We both really hate wallpapering, and I don’t think we could face doing it again in a new place.

“So for that reason, I think I’ll vote ‘in’.”

I’m voting for the side with the fewest arseholes

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