Friday 3 June 2016

My bonuses were actually less than one Gareth Bale, explains Blatter


Sepp Blatter

Sepp Blatter has defended himself and two other FIFA executives over bonuses amounting to £55m by explaining that in the world of football, that isn’t very much money at all.

Fifa lawyers said that former high-ranking officials Sepp Blatter, Jerome Valcke and Markus Kattner awarded themselves pay rises and bonuses worth $80m (£55m) – approximately two-thirds of a Gareth Bale – over five years.

Blatter himself has defended the payments, explaining that World Cups don’t just award themselves and that a bonus of less than one whole Louis Suarez isn’t actually that generous.

He told reporters, “You have to put these bonuses into context and remember that $80m doesn’t go very far in Switzerland.

“Have you tried buying a coffee in Zurich? It’s also important to recognise that Fifa had to pay the best wages and bonuses to ensure we retained the best talent, such as me.

“If I hadn’t authorised these payments to myself I might have had to resign to myself and go somewhere else that was offering me tens of millions of dollars.

“There were loads of offers – yes there were, shut up.”

Football fans have asked how it is even possible that Fifa had enough money to pay these sorts of bonuses, before quickly remembering the cheap hat they paid £25 for at the last World Cup, and the fact they were forced to pay £10 for a pint of shitty lager from the official shitty lager of the World Cup.

As one explained, “Actually, now I think about how expensive it is to do anything at a Fifa organised event, I’m surprised they only paid themselves £55m.”

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