Tuesday 31 May 2016

Perverts warn ‘sex in public toilets’ could soon be thing of the past


Public Toilets growing scarce

The demise of public toilets across the UK is forcing perverts to seek sexual encounters in far less exciting locations, according to sources this morning.

With a recent Freedom of Information request by The One Show revealing that the UK had lost 1,782 public toilets in the last decade, the illicit shagging locations are becoming an ever rarer treat for the intrepid pervert.

Anonymous pervert Simon Williams told us, “Shagging in public toilets is my thing, ok.

“It’s perfectly normal and represents a bit of fun between two consenting adults and whoever else happens to wander in needing a piss at that particular point in time.

“It’s been stigmatised over the years, clearly, but we’re not like those dogging weirdos who want an audience, we’re just interested in getting it on in dark, cold rooms that smell of stale piss.

“But thanks to government cutbacks we’re being forced to have sexual encounters in houses, flats and hotels. It’s degrading.”

The fall in public conveniences has also annoyed those people in need of a public convenience. However, some admitted they’d not even noticed the decline.

Kathryn Mathews told us, “Have you ever actually been inside a public toilet? They are horrific.

“I would literally rather piss in a bush by the side of the road than drop my knickers in one of those places.

“Have you people never heard of a McShit?”

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