Friday 20 May 2016

Radio 3 records a ‘marvellous’ 36 regular listeners


BBC radio 3

There were celebrations at Radio 3 headquarters as new Rajar figures revealed that the station was enjoying levels of popularity not seen for years with well over 30 regular listeners.

“This is just marvellous news,” said new controller Alan Davey.

“One concerto alone had nearly 9 concurrent listeners, these are just dream figures.”

Radio 3 had found itself in a sad decline, reaching it’s worse position last year when Rajar figures recorded that it only had one listener – Eleanor Gay, a retired Classics tutor from Windsor, and worryingly she was really quite unwell.

“Well, now with this torrent of new listeners, it really is of no consequence if she dies,” continued a jubilant Davey.

Simon Williams, a giant novelty foam finger delivery driver from Chelmsford is one of the station’s new listeners.

“Yeah, the radio in the van’s broken.

“I was just driving about, delivering my giant novelty foam fingers when all of a sudden, Steve Wright came on.

“Well, I didn’t have time to drive to broadcasting house to punch him in the face so I punched the radio instead.”

“I thought I’d knacked it because it started making this horrible screeching noise, but then someone on it started talking and I realised that it was Radio 3.

“I must have done something though, because it won’t tune to another channel.

“Mainly I keep the volume down and listen to Heart through my phone. I mean, there’s only so much Dvorak a man can stand.”

Mr Davey has set a target for the next Rajar figures of over 50 listeners, which would be an all-time high for Radio 3.

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