Friday 20 May 2016

Brexit supporter can’t wait for higher wages, cheaper housing and empty roads


Group celebrating leaving the EU

Brexit supporters have admitted they can’t wait for the end of June so they can start getting pay rises, moving to cheaper homes and going to work on empty roads.

Simon Williams, 35, said he was excited to leave the EU and has already started looking at houses he can’t afford, knowing they’ll drop to within his range as soon as we leave.

“I saw that bald scouse fella on Question Time tell me that house prices will fall and I’ll get paid more, so I’ve set my sights above the one-bed bedsits I’ve been looking at, more towards the four-bed detached family home market.

“I don’t know what sort of pay rise I’ll get, but I hope it comes in July’s pay packet because I want to go on holiday in August, so taking home another five-hundred quid or so would be great.

“But best of all will be my commute – I spend 45 minutes each way on the M4 and M25, but if it wasn’t for all the other cars that would be about 15 minutes. I really can’t wait.

“I just hope those morons voting to remain in the EU don’t win – who wouldn’t want more money, cheaper houses and quieter roads? The idiots.”

When it was pointed out that the benefits he’s been told to expect are nothing more than a hopeful prediction, not a promise, and that most economists actually say we’ll all be worse off if we leave, Williams was indignant.

“Don’t be stupid, what possible reason would that nice UKIP man have for lying to me?”

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