Thursday 19 May 2016 by Shaun Stevenson

Man in pub’s footballing tactical wizardry ignored for some reason


Football fans

Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp was facing fresh criticism last night after he bizarrely ignored the keen, footballing insights from a man in the pub.

Big Stan, a 58-year-old Liverpool fan, spent last night’s Europa Cup defeat to Sevilla howling at a screen in a run down pub with watered down beer and football pitch sized televisions.

“He was just amazing,” fellow Liverpool fan Simon Williams said, clearly still awestruck.

“Every word he uttered, every observation he made was just sheer, unadulterated footballing genius.

“It was like watching precious gems cascade from his gob in a sparkling rainbow of wisdom.

“I took a note of some of his best ones in the end, so I can impress all my mates next season. I mean how brilliant are these?

“Come on you reds.
Fuck’s sake, hoof it up the field.
Just kick it in the back of the fucking net.
Take the cheating gobshite down.

“Class, sheer class. I found myself wondering how it was he’d never been snapped up by one of the big sides, instead of spending his career doing something boring in the potato industry.

“Klopp should have heeded his advice. No doubt about it.

When it was suggested that perhaps Jurgen Klopp might not have been able to hear Big Stan, Mr Williams just laughed.

“Not fucking likely pal. Big Stan’s so enthusiastic about sharing his views that he probably woke the neighbours up on Mars. They had to get the police out, in the end, to get him to shut up.

“But if only Klopp had listened to him, if only he hadn’t spurned the views of the one man alive who truly and deeply understands what is needed to win a football match, well…”

Mr Williams shrugged sadly and in his eyes was reflected all the misery of the world.

“Well maybe last night could have turned out very differently,” he said.

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