Tuesday 17 May 2016 by Waylandsmithy

Ramsay Bolton goes ‘too far’, eats raw cooking apple


Ramsay Bolton Game of Thrones

If Game of Thrones fans were in any doubt that Ramsay Bolton is an unhinged monster, it was confirmed last night by him eating a cooker as an eater.

The scene, which featured a large Bramley as co-star, led to a string of complaints from outraged viewers.

“That was awful,” said Simon Williams.

“He’s stabbed that poor girl in the neck, wiped the blade clean on a napkin, and then bold as brass, used it to slice a big, slightly hard and probably extremely bitter apple.

“But then the camera pans back and you realise he’s not making a pie. He’s fucking eating it raw as if it were a regular Braeburn or a fancy Pink Lady.”

Williams claimed he was ‘physically sick’ at the scene.

The thought of the marginally higher acidity levels in a cooking apple when compared to a dessert apple was too much for him to stomach.

“They’ve overstepped a line, what sort of pervert writes this?” Williams demanded to know.

“Bramleys are for baking, coxes are for eating.

“Or perhaps posting to the sister of the chap you removed it from.”

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