Tuesday 17 May 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Man actually works whilst ‘working from home’


Man working from home

It has been revealed that a man actually worked while working at home, potentially spoiling it for everyone.

Hapless office drone Simon Williams found himself forced to work at home last Thursday when all trains were cancelled due an angry wasp.

“I cracked on with this spreadsheet I’d been working on,” said Mr Williams.

“It’s brilliant, it’s got a pie chart with a sort of raised 3D effect, different colours and an embedded MP3 of the Rocky theme; I think it’ll really blow them away at the monthly team huddle.”

But others weren’t quite so enthusiastic.

“He’s done what?” asked one colleague who wished to remain anonymous.

“Seriously? He worked? Brilliant, now they’re going to expect everyone to do that.

“I’ve got Wednesday at home, I was going to have a nice lie-in, watch a DVD, have some lunch in the local and spend the afternoon on Youporn.

“You just send the occasional email and everyone’s happy, but now bloody Si’s sent expectations through the roof.”

Mr Williams’ actions are expected to have ramifications across the country, reaching even the highest office.

“One will spend the day working from one’s home,” said the Queen earlier.

“And after Mr Williams’ splendid example, one can assure one’s subjects that one will not simply be watching the new Jurassic Park film and having some cans.”

At which point, Her Majesty’s carrier bag ripped to reveal a DVD and four cans of Stella.

“Oh tits,” exclaimed the Queen, before making a hasty exit.

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