Monday 16 May 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Woman proud of the quality of her digestive transit


Woman happy with digestive transit

West London woman Eleanor Gay is very happy with her digestive transit and denies that constantly bringing it up in conversation is peculiar.

“Oh yeah, my digestive transit is just brilliant,” said Ms Gay, a little smugly.

“No bloating, no discomfort, brilliant. I’m always telling my friends during our perfectly natural conversations about yoghurt that I’ve got brilliant digestive transit.”

Ms Gay puts the quality of her digestive transit down to ‘microbes’ in yoghurt that ‘help your tummy,’ all of which is almost certainly backed up by science.

However, friends are tiring of Ms Gay’s constant enthusiasm for her digestive transit.

“Is it me, or is it a bit weird?” asked one anonymous pal.

“We all live in the sort of world where it’s implied we have husbands off doing something important during the day so myself and my friends spend our time waiting for their return by ‘popping in’ to see each other.

“Now, I’d have thought most people in this situation might have a bit of a gossip, maybe chat about what was on telly or even perhaps discuss current affairs; the Euro referendum and whatnot.

“But El just keeps barging into the kitchen and banging on about how brilliant she is at pooing. I mean, I’m happy for her, but it is a bit weird.

“And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve just put in an incontinence pad and I want to go and laugh, sneeze, and do yoga before having a perfectly normal conversation about bladder leakage with my best mates.”

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