Thursday 12 May 2016

Vote Leave to sue ITV for choosing wrong type of arsehole for EU debate


Nigel Farage

Vote Leave are to look at their legal options after ITV failed to choose their preferred arsehole for a live EU referendum debate against the Prime Minister.

David Cameron will face Nigel Farage in a live debate in which they will face audience questions, with Vote Leave describing as an ‘outrage’ the choice of arsehole to represent their side of the argument.

Vote Leave spokesperson Simon Williams told us, “Yes, Nigel is pretty well-known and well-versed on the issues, but that does not make him the de-facto choice of arsehole to represent Vote Leave.

“We have a vast range of well-qualified arseholes to choose from, and though Nigel Farage is probably the best recognised of those anti-EU arseholes, we would prefer they used a different arsehole from our ranks.

“Michael Gove, for example, is a first-class arsehole who would love nothing more than to debate the Prime Minister – but where is his invite?”

An ITV spokesperson said that Nigel Farage is a legitimate choice for the debate, given that over two million people voted for UKIP at the last election.

Williams countered, “That’s fine, but if you voted UKIP in a general election then you’re likely to be the sort of frothing-xenophobe who is going to vote to leave anyway – we need to someone to attract the middle-of-the-road xenophobes, and for that, Gove would be perfect.

“See you in court.”

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