Monday 9 May 2016 by Lucas Wilde

‘Roof down’ grins wanker


Top down wanker

A friend of yours is bragging about his daft car with the stupid roof.

Simon Williams, 32, bought his BMW Z4 during the summer of last year, on one of the eight days where the sun showed up.

“Yeah, the weekend was lovely, had the roof down on the way to the golf,” said Williams, in an attempt to sound casual but talking louder than usual and glancing around to see who might have heard him.

“Did you have the roof down over the weekend- oh wait you drive a Lexus, don’t you? I’m so sorry.”

Simon’s wife said, “he had it down for a bit, but then put it back up at my request because the neighbours could see us.

“He thinks it makes him look young and virile but what it actually makes him is very sunburnt.

“I’d quite like him to get rid of it but he says he can’t until his utterly crippling finance agreement has run its course.”

“Roof down!” beamed Williams.

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