Friday 6 May 2016 by Tom Shaw

Donald Trump deals colossal blow to the EU Leave campaign by pledging his support


Donald Trump leave EU

Donald Trump may have guaranteed the UK votes to stay in the EU after telling everyone it should leave.

A spokesperson for the ‘Leave’ campaign was quoted as saying, “Well that’s about it, we are totally f*cked.

“Nobody would want to touch his ideas with a 12 foot sterilised barge pole whist wearing full chemical warfare suit. I might as well spend the next 7 weeks on the beach there is nothing that can counter such a damming setback.

It wasn’t the first blow to the campaign, 10 times winner of the Hippest International Statesmen of the year, and ultimate cool guy, Barack Obama came out in favour of the In campaign.

“We were hoping that people would see Barack attempt as a desperate attempt to get some special favours from Cameron, but ultimately people were completely blinded by his chilled demeanour around the royal family and photos of him with prince George.”

Initially buoyed by the scheduling clash between the vote and Glastonbury, the mood in the out camp is fading fast.

“Things looked pretty good at the start, we worked hard to get the vote scheduled on the same day as Glastonbury.

“It allows us to cage and contain up to 120,000 hippies who won’t be able to vote at the event. These windbags support peace, love, harmony amongst nations and a load of other rubbish, so were bound to vote to stay in.”

The In campaign have been quiet over the latest incident but as local campaigner Terrence Briggs (56) put it, “All we have to do is keep quiet and not screw it up.

“Trump has made the Leave campaign so toxic, that after the referendum it will have to be secretly buried deep underground in steel re-enforced concrete enclosure with a 20 mile exclusion zone.

“It sounds all too easy but given that politicians are involved it’s going to be a nightmare.

“Take Deaf and Blind anti-racism campaigner Ken Livingston for example; he claimed he would emigrate if the UK exited the EU, putting the Out campaign up 10 points overnight.”

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