Thursday 5 May 2016 by Davywavy

Kate Middleton’s pet hamster becomes fourth in line to the throne


Hamster in line to throne

Kate Middleton’s purchase of a hamster has pushed Prince Harry to fifth in line to the throne.

Constitutional experts confirmed that the purchase means the line of succession is now Charles, William, George, Mister Snufflechops, Harry.

This will be the first time a domesticated animal has been this close to the throne since Henry VIII married the Flanders Mare.

Experts point to an obscure law passed by King George III, which allowed family pets to ascend to the throne while still denying Catholics.

As a result, Prince Charles’ investiture as Prince of Wales was only possible after an act of Parliament allowed him to take precedence over one of his mother’s corgis.

To mark his new status, Mister Snufflechaps has been made Duke of Warwick and granted an official residence in a huge pile of fresh straw just outside Kettering.

Republicans have used the announcement to attack the institution, saying that the country being only one nasty car accident between it and King Snufflechops the First was absolutely evidence the Monarchy is well past its sell-by date.

However, Monarchists have countered with the undeniable fact that a small rodent primarily notable for stuffing it’s cheeks with pumpkin seeds is still a preferable head of state compared to Tony Blair.

“Besides, think of the tourist revenue,” we were told.

“If we make a hamster King the rest of the world will totally pay good money to see that. No doubt about it.”

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