Wednesday 4 May 2016

Gary Lineker begins sit-up regime


Gary Lineker

Gary Lineker has this morning begun a fitness regime to ensure he doesn’t look like a fifty-five-year-old man sitting in his pants when Match of the Day begins next season.

After promising the present Match of the Day in his pants if Leicester won the league, Lineker now finds himself living that nightmare where you go to school and realise you don’t have your trousers on.

Lineker himself said, “Obviously I’m delighted that Leicester won the league, but underneath these sharp shirts I’m not quite the same man you all saw with his top off during Italia ’90.

“I’m also terrified I’ll get a nervous erection live on Saturday night television, and the more I think about trying not to get one the worse it gets.

“Trust me; nobody wants to see Little Gary when they’re trying to listen to Alan Shearer describe the awful defending in a West Brom game.

Former Leicester player and sports commentator Robbie Savage tweeted his support, telling Lineker, “You’ll look great Gary, you should embrace it. Some of us look like a twat even with our clothes on, so be grateful.

“Oh, and in a completely unrelated matter, does anyone know if you can taste Viagra if someone crushes it into your pre-show coffee?”

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