Tuesday 3 May 2016 by Gary Stanton

Labour Party celebrates Jewish club’s failure to win league


Labour

Anti-Zionists within the Labour Party are cock-a-hoop after Tottenham Hotspur pissed the league title away.

Labour, which was founded on a hatred of Jews, cracked open the champagne as Eden Hazard’s late equaliser struck a blow against global Zionism.

Senior members of the Shadow Cabinet celebrated by taking to the streets of Leicester and burning the Israeli flag.

Many within the Labour movement blame the North London club for the poor treatment of Palestinians and the constant incursions into the Gaza strip.

The hatred dates back to when former Spurs manager, Terry Venables, authorised the use of white phosphorous shells against Palestinians in the West Bank after failing to sign Graham Rix.

Other Labour activists plan to stand behind the goal at Tottenham’s next home game, making a historically inaccurate sound like gas leaking from a pipe.

Labour Anti-Semite, Simon Williams, said, “Although the current generation of talented Spurs’ youngsters isn’t complicit in genocide, let us not forget Gary Mabbut’s lack of interest in a two-state solution.”

Leicester, who were 5000-1 outsiders to win the league, achieved their incredible feat without killing a single member of Hamas or Hezbollah.

Holding a can of lighter fluid aloft, Labour Leader, Jeremy Corbyn, said, “I’ve waited my whole life for this.”

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