Saturday 30 April 2016 by Davywavy

Local ‘man’ reads manual


Man reading manual

Local man Simon Williams has been accused of letting the side down after reading the manual for his new television.

The so-called “man” purchased a new Smart TV and read the enclosed instruction booklet before plugging it in and setting it up, leading to a huge outcry.

Williams is understood to have also read the warranty to understand better the circumstances in which he would be ineligible for a refund.

Williams is said to have previous form, as he denied undermining his masculinity by asking directions in 2006.

“I don’t know what the fuss is about,” he told reporters camped outside his house.

“I just wanted to understand how it worked before I began, rather than fiddling about for hours, randomly pressing buttons in a futile hope that it might just all start working.

“I don’t think that was sufficient grounds for my wife to burst into tears, say she didn’t know I was that way inclined and then leave me if I’m honest.”

Having completed the press conference, Williams told reporters that he was going to have a half down the pub to drown his sorrows.

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