Friday 29 April 2016 by Davywavy

Popcorn shares rocket as Ken Livingstone goes on telly to talk about Hitler


Ken Livingstone

Shares in popcorn manufacturers doubled yesterday after Ken Livingstone went on telly to talk about Hitler.

City analysts are predicting ‘bumper sales’ of the popular spectator snack, as millions turned in to enjoy the spectacle of Ken concluding a worse season than Aston Villa.

Sales of nacho cheese and extra-large soft drinks also rose after Ken bravely got himself into an argument about the nuances of Nazi Jew policy on live TV.

Reports indicate that a forty tonne truck of popcorn was delivering to Conservative Party HQ every hour to meet demand after Ken hid in a disabled toilet to avoid reporters keen for more of his insights on the Third Reich.

“What with declining cinema attendance, we’d been worried about falling sales,” said Simon Williams of the popcorn marketing board.

“But then Ken Livingstone went on Daily Politics and said ‘What I think Hitler was trying to say was…’ and revenues went through the roof.

“The bonus should get me that villa on the Cap d’Antibes I always wanted. Thanks, Ken!”

Popcorn manufacturers have reached out to Livingstone, offering to fund a series of speeches on his thoughts about Chairman Mao, Pol Pot and Jack the Ripper.

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