Friday 29 April 2016

Looking older or being ginger the new Sophie’s Choice


Ginger gene

A new ginger gene linked to looking younger has given vain people the hardest possible choice imaginable.

After analysing the DNA of red heads, scientists have identified the gene which can make you look younger, but also means you will have to be ginger.

The discovery could lead to beauty treatments for the most conceited members of society.

Consumer Sharon Williams told us, “I am an extremely vain individual who spends hundreds of pounds on weird creams to make me look younger – something which is extremely important to me; but being so vain is also the reason I couldn’t be a ginge.

“If I’ve learned anything during my time on this earth, it’s that what you look like on the outside is what really matters in society, and so this new ginger gene presents me with the biggest dilemma of my life.

“On the one hand, I would look younger than I really am, which is great, but one the other hand people will think I’m possessed by the devil, which is not so great.

“I just don’t know what to do, if only I wasn’t a shallow cow driven by vanity this would be so easy.”

Some consumers believe finding the new gene is just the universe’s way of balancing everything out.

Karl Matthews  told us, “Hey, maybe this new ‘live longer gene’ is just karma for a lifetime of crappy ‘carrot-top’ jokes, so that the gingers will all be able to sit around laughing at our obituaries?”

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