Friday 22 April 2016 by Davywavy

Prince and Victoria Wood having really awkward conversation


Victoria Wood

Victoria Wood has just offered Prince a custard cream and he’s got entirely the wrong idea, we can report.

The two met in the queue for the afterlife and quickly discovered they have little in common beyond an interest in being spanked on the bottom with a copy of Woman’s Weekly, although one of them thinks of it as a joke whilst the other views it as a fairly run of the mill Saturday night.

Attempting to break an uncomfortable silence Wood then offered Prince the popular biscuit, leaving her bright red and flustered by his reply.

“All I said was ‘would you like a custard cream’ and he said something which most family magazines would consider unprintable,” Wood told bystanders.

“Things weren’t improved when I asked if he’d prefer a fig roll, a chocolate finger or a pink wafer,” she added.

“And you don’t want to know what he said when I asked if he’d like to nibble my party ring.

“I tried to be polite and asked whether he wanted to dunk something in my Lapsang Suchong, and it all got terribly filthy quite quickly,” she added whilst attempting to fan herself with her hands.

A spokesman for Prince has reported that he’s learning new things already as the lady has just offered him a Viennese Whirl, which is something even he hasn’t tried before.

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