Thursday 21 April 2016 by Tommy Charles

Glastonbury Festival unveils British steel piss cups


Glastonbury

Michael Eavis, the organiser of world-famous Glastonbury Festival, has unveiled a new initiative to distribute reusable piss cups forged from British Steel at this year’s event.

“We listen to feedback from our visitors each year” explained Eavis, “and among the chief concerns was that once they had pissed in a paper cup, it was simply discarded and trampled on, leaving them with no option but to piss down the back of someone’s leg from that point onwards.”

Festival goers will pay a £5 deposit for the cups although Eavis is realistic about the chances of many being returned.

He continued, “Our Sheffield Steel cups can be used time and time again while the extra weight gives the user an added advantage of getting more distance on their throw when Coldplay are on.”

Regular reveller, James Southgate said, “This is great for the environment, which is really in keeping with the festival ethos and I can think of no better way of supporting our Great British steel industry than nailing Matt Bellamy in the face with a steaming hot cup of urine.”

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