Wednesday 20 April 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Americans starting to fear that whole Trump thing isn’t a joke


Donald Trump not joking

After Donald Trump won the New York primary, the US will wake this morning with the growing realisation that Donald Trump running for President isn’t actually a joke.

“I’m starting to think the guy’s genuinely serious,” said all-round American Simon Williams while eating a cheeseburger and drinking a ‘bud.’

“I mean, you know, last year when it all came out that the guy from the Apprentice decided he was running for the Republican nomination, me and my buddies thought it was hilarious.

“But Christ, no one thought the guy was serious, you know? I think he could have been a lot clearer that he wasn’t just screwing around here.”

Upper West Side College Professor Eleanor Gay agreed.

“I think it’s becoming clear that Mr Trump’s attempt to gain the Republican nomination for President isn’t a complex satire on the current state of party politics,” she said, sipping on an espresso in a coffee shop that isn’t as good as it thinks it is.

“Which, of course, should be the only reasonable explanation for the current state of affairs.”

Donald Trump, who proposes a wall should be built on the Mexican border, wishes to ban Muslims from entering the US, and has suggested women should be punished for having an abortion is, apparently, not joking.

Paula Abdul, the guy from the Batchelor, and Bart Simpson are all considering their options regarding the 2020 nominations.

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