Monday 18 April 2016

Aston Villa players refusing to believe ‘Huddersfield’ is a real place


Villa park

After relegation to the Championship, Aston Villa’s first team players are refusing to believe that they will have to play in a place called ‘Huddersfield’ next season.

Their 1-0 loss to Manchester United confirmed a relegation pretty much everyone knew was happening since mid-October, though it appears the players themselves have not prepared for their new reality.

When told of the places he’ll have to play next season, central defender Joleon Lescott told us, “Huddersfield sounds like a made up place from Lord of the Rings or something.

“Maybe a place where the trolls wrestle in the mud? Or where a great pie-eating competition once took place?

“I think you’re having us on. I know for a fact there’s no place called ‘Rotherham’ – do you think we’re idiots?”

Other first team players also spoke of their feelings after the club’s Premier League tenure came to an end.

Gabby Agbonlahor said he was looking forward to playing against relegation next year, having not fully understood what was happening, whilst Jack Grealish was keen to hear about the nightclubs in Preston.

Midlands football writer Simon Williams told us, “The Villa players will get used to playing in shitty grounds on shitty pitches, it should go nicely with their shitty football and shitty attitude.

“You have to remember, this area is a hotbed of footballing greatness, perfectly illustrated by the fact that this time next season the top side in the West Midlands could well be Burton Albion.”

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