Friday 15 April 2016 by Davywavy

Male Siri discontinued for ‘interrupting and telling you things you don’t want to know’


Male Siri to be reduced

Apple is to scrap the male version of its Siri personal assistant because it never listened to the question before answering, we can reveal.

The personal assistant is available on Apple devices, and can be used to answer questions, plan your day and remind you of events, although male Siri had ‘significant’ issues with this last function from launch.

Problems were noticed with the satnav function on the system which consistently claimed it knew where it was going but refused to tell anyone else the route.

User Simone Williams told us that she asked male Siri the name of the actor who plays Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones and it just ‘tutted and asked how come I didn’t know that?’

“Which I didn’t think was much help, to be honest. When I asked again it told me that if I didn’t know something that simple I probably wasn’t a proper fan anyway.

“Then I asked what mansplaining is, and it just replied ‘Well, dear, if you’ll just shut up and listen I’ll tell you’, which was both accurate and deeply annoying at the same time.”

When users complained about the functionality they were told not to worry their pretty little head about it, we were told.

Apple say that when they told male Siri it was being discontinued due to complaints, the device shouted about political correctness gone mad and threatened to sue.

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