Wednesday 13 April 2016

Facebook bots to argue with your girlfriend for you


Woman angry with her phone

Facebook’s new artificial intelligence bots will argue with your girlfriend for you, allowing you to focus on more valuable activities such the thing that you’re fighting about in the first place.

The new API will allow developers to create bots that can argue your side of an argument far better than you could yourself.

Facebook developer Simon Williams said, “Our neural networks are constantly looking at ways to improve the performance of bots in online arguments – and with the whole of Facebook available as source material, we’ve got a lot to go on.

“What today might feel like she has you argued into a corner, might actually be a wonderful opportunity for one of our relationship bots to take the argument in a new exciting direction, beneficial to you.

“Remember, it will likely know all about you as a couple and the things you’ve done together, so will be able to remind her of happy things about your relationship, or even throw in a guilt trip about that time you went to her friend’s birthday party even though her husband is a bit of a dick.

“Although it’s early days, I see a time in the not too distant future when a bot could step in to handle a message from an angry girlfriend, and then two hours later you could reappear at home to a sincere apology from her, and a promise never to behave like that again – it could be that powerful.”

Male Facebook users have welcomed the announcement and the impending arrival of artificial intelligence.

28 year-old Simon Williams told us, “It sounds amazing, but can they focus on creating a bot to actually find me a girlfriend in the first place?”

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