Tuesday 12 April 2016

Tax return the ‘perfect place to hide dodgy earnings’ claims rubbish accountant


Rubbish accountant

If you are trying to hide money from the taxman, the best place to document it is in your tax return, according to the world’s worst accountant this morning.

Simon Williams of accountancy firm Tryit & See explained that hiding dodgy earnings in plain sight is definitely the way to go.

After several high-profile politicians published their tax returns to great fanfare, insisting “look, I have nothing to hide”, Williams said that this must be true because where else would you possibly hide it.

He told us, “Ah yes, if there was anything even remotely untoward going on, it would most definitely be in their tax return – that’s where I tell all my clients to hide the money they don’t want the tax man to find.

“It’s literally the last place they’d look if they thought you had something to hide.

“As I say at tax return time every year, don’t bother with fancy trusts, squirreling it away offshore or putting assets in your dog’s name, just pop in the self-assessment form as the tax man will never see it there.”

Voters found themselves convinced by the persuasive nature of Williams’ argument.

As one voter explained, “Well, that’s me told. Let’s all move on then shall we?”

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