Tuesday 12 April 2016 by Lucas Wilde

MP ejected from Commons following accurate character assessment


Dennis Skinner

Labour MP Dennis Skinner was thrown out of the House of Commons yesterday after saying something entirely reasonable.

The cantankerous politician stood up and declared that he always referred to the Prime Minister as “Dodgy Dave”, which made every single person outside of the House of Commons just shrug and go “fair enough”.

“But that won’t fly in here,” said fellow MP, Simon Williams.

“Referring to someone who disagrees with you as a terrorist sympathiser is fine, slagging off someone’s suit is fine and fucking the disabled through the floor is mighty fine.

“But we absolutely will NOT tolerate a fairly tame idiom based on the factual evidence of a recent tax avoidance scandal. That’s basically the same as shouting ‘wanker’ at a lollipop lady.

“Mr. Skinner can return to the House once he’s learnt to shout, heckle and barrack when it isn’t his turn to speak, just like the rest of us.

“And if he doesn’t like it, he can fuck off.”

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