Monday 11 April 2016

Website no-one uses to be acquired by newspaper everyone hates


Yahoo acquired by Daily Mail

The Daily Mail could acquire Yahoo and corner the lucrative market in morons who don’t know how to use the Internet.

With Yahoo now used solely by people who accidentally installed the Yahoo toolbar in their browser in 2006, and the Daily Mail catering solely to xenophobic simpletons, experts predict the new business could have many cross promotion opportunities.

Media analyst Simon Williams told us, “If you read the Daily Mail, then the chances are you still use something like Yahoo when you’re on ‘that there Internet’.”

“Conversely, if you use Yahoo then I’m sure you’re the sort of person who could be convinced that the Daily Mail is a bastion of reporting excellence.

“So you can see why the owners think there’s some synergy there.  Two businesses most right-minded people wouldn’t dream of using, brought together to create the Internet’s first super-tabloid for half-wits who don’t realise how stupid they are.”

The new business is expected to be followed shortly by a deadly plague and the oceans turning to blood.

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