Monday 11 April 2016 by Davywavy

Ken Livingstone breaks expensive new hypocrisy-o-meter


Ken Livingstone

Ken Livingstone, who ran £238,000 through a tax-avoidance mechanism, has broken a new Hypocrisy-o-meter by suggesting David Cameron should go to prison for his dad doing the same thing.

The hypocrisy-o-meter had been newly installed by the University of London political science department, and researchers were dismayed when it went bang and sprayed cogs all over the room shortly after Livingstone started speaking.

The new machine had been brought in to measure political hypocrisy at a time of great interest to the department, and was budgeted to serve for at least ten years.

In the event it lasted for less than 36 hours, despite being calibrated to register up to 1,000 megahypos per second.

“All we did was turn on Russia Today, because that’s a really good test subject. It’s the media of choice of people for whom The Daily Mail isn’t fucking deranged enough,” we were told.

“Then Livingstone came on and started talking and the last we knew was that the Hypocritron, as we called it, was reading over 9000 before it started belching out clouds of smoke and stopped working altogether.

“It exploded with such force it drove a spring almost four inches into the brick wall. I’m not sure we’ll ever get the device working again.”

Livingstone has defended himself against criticism by pointing out that he didn’t keep his money abroad with his chums, largely because if he had Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro would have nicked it.

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