Saturday 9 April 2016 by Davywavy

None harmed after imperial stormtrooper goes on two-hour mass-shooting rampage


Storm Trooper rampage

Reports are coming in of a mass shooting incident featuring an Imperial Stormtrooper in which nobody has been harmed.

Reports from a military base on Coruscant suggest the stormtrooper began his rampage by opening fire into the crowded commissary building, missing everyone, before moving on to firing wildly at a massed formation of troopers, once again causing no injuries.

Fellow troopers are understood to have returned fire on the shooter, with little effect.

Upon hearing the news, loved ones of fellow troopers rushed to the scene of the shooting as it was definitely the safest place to be.

The shooter, who has not yet been named, is understood to have fired hundreds of rounds into a busy public area, leaving bystanders unscathed.

The assailant was eventually brought down when law-enforcement officials tricked him into walking through a door and knocking himself out on the lintel.

The only casualty is said to be a man wearing a red shirt. Witnesses said he ‘never stood a chance’ despite being miles away and nothing to do with the incident.

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