Thursday 7 April 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Suspicion of who dealt it continues to centre on who smelt it


He who smelt it dealt it

A dramatic investigation into who dealt it has once again focused on who smelt it after a day of legal challenges that at one point saw the investigating team implicated.

“At first, it was an open and shut case,” said investigator Simon Williams.

“We immediately arrested the individual who reported smelling it as, in ninety percent of cases, it would have been that individual who had, in fact, dealt it.”

However, problems arose when the individual denied everything and then issued an inspired legal challenge.

“Legally, the defence team have manoeuvred brilliantly,” said legal expert Professor Eleanor Gay.

“Issuing a ‘who said the rhyme did the crime’ counter-accusation? Incredible.”

An underused piece of English law, the ‘who said the rhyme did the crime’ defence was last successfully used in the exoneration of little Johnny after an incident in 2nd year Maths in 1977.

“I don’t think that they actually intended to accuse the investigators of being the culprits, but they just wanted to shine the light away from their client.”

For a brief period, it looked as if the accused may have walked free until Mr Williams launched a further counter argument.

“It just came to me, it was a gamble but we had nothing to lose so we changed the nature of the arrest to ‘he who denied it, supplied it,’ and that seems to have worked.”

It is expected that the accused will go to prison for at least ten years.

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