Thursday 7 April 2016 by Lucas Wilde

Striking doctors ‘out of touch’, claims party of rich old men who’ve never had a proper job


Junior doctors strike

The Conservative party has invoked ‘pot-kettle-black’ by suggesting that another large group of people are acting against the interests of Britain.

The British Medical Association (BMA) backed a 48 hour strike by junior doctors after it was revealed that the government was forcing a new contract on them, meaning that the modern junior doctor will be reduced to one hot meal a week as opposed to the traditional two.

The Conservatives were quick to brand the move “irresponsible” and “damaging to the future of Britain”, causing almost everyone within earshot to shove a mirror into the nearest Tory face and “take a good, long look you bloody hypocrite.”

Stacey Anderton, a 29 year-old junior doctor who’s done more good in the last month than the Government front bench could manage in the entirety of their over-privileged lives, said, “it is going to be a little tighter around the house, you know, during the odd hour I get to spend there.

“I was mildly amused by the Conservatives’ suggestion that we’re acting out of self-interest rather than a desire to, y’know, eat and sleep every once in a while.

“I hope we’re not distracting too much from their plans to abolish inheritance tax?”

A spokesperson from the Conservative Party said, “We are fully aware of the issues surrounding the funding of the health service.

“For example, some hospitals can still afford to use fluorescent light bulbs. You can kiss those goodbye.

“Rest assured, Jeremy Hunt is working incredibly hard to fuck every hospital into a tin hat.”

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