Thursday 7 April 2016 by Lucas Wilde

‘Karma’ actually just ‘Statistical Likelihood’ for twats


Man Karma

People who haven’t grasped life as a random series of peaks and troughs are still referring to “karma” instead.

Studies found that the use of the word “karma” proved particularly prevalent amongst Facebook users who haven’t quite wrapped their head around the fact that both good and bad events are inevitable over the average person’s lifespan, rather than being the result of some hokum out of Star Wars.

Elizabeth King, 37, said “I had some good Karma the other day, I hit three numbers on the lotto, which is obviously the universe’s way of compensating me for that man nicking my purse last week.

“Granted, the ten pounds I won doesn’t quite match up the £300 the thief rinsed from my bank, but you get what I mean. Feeling blessed.”

Simon Williams, 29, said, “My wife ran off with my best mate last week, so I’m fully expecting a piano to fall on her in the next few days, because karma.

“The universe definitely works as a sentient being balancing out bad deeds with harsh consequences, and vice versa. I have no doubt about that, because I’m a moron.”

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