Wednesday 6 April 2016 by Waylandsmithy

Self-aware trifle robot ‘not good enough’ for Bake Off judges


Bake off robot

A fully automated, self-aware dessert has failed to impress judges in the Bake Off Creme de la Creme semi-finals.

Despite having an IQ of 230 and passing the Turing test, ‘I, Trifle’ was unceremoniously scraped into a bin at the end of the show.

“To make this dessert took over 20,000 hours of research,” sobbed chef Iza Cassie-Mough.

“And that was just to develop the positronic brain.”

When presented to the judges, the 200-kilo cake admitted that it was ‘a bit dry’, and suggested it ‘might need more sherry’.

After polishing off the third bottle it started arguing with a camera man, and clawed at the cookie chips in its neck in an attempt to remove the third law of robotics.

I, Trifle was awarded a total of 15 points.

It was beaten by a small meringue capable of travelling through time to before the chicken and the egg, and collapsing the universe in a ‘Grandfather Paradox’.

Benoit Blin gave this a generous 16 points out of 30, despite claiming he ‘couldn’t really taste’ the unicorn tears in the ganache.

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