Tuesday 5 April 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Taliban app – ‘Talibandy Crush Saga’ – removed from Google store


man on phone

A Taliban mobile phone game – ‘Talibandy Crush Saga’ has been removed from the Google Play store as it violates their policies on hate speech.

The gameplay consists of matching three Kalashnikovs in a line to get an explosion, create enough explosions and the player gets to spend several seconds hating the west in an ecstasy of fury.

The Taliban are furious at the app’s removal.

“Disgraceful behaviour by western search monkey Google,” said a man who seemed to think he was ‘it’ because he had a twenty year-old Russian automatic weapon.

“Now the righteous faithful will have to play infidel western games about sweets and mining equipment whilst sat on the Taliban toilet.

“As retribution for this insult, the Taliban pledges to only use Ask Jeeves from now on.”

However, it wasn’t just Taliban supporters who were disappointed.

“That’s a shame, I used to play Talibandy Crush on the bus in,” said sludge stirrer Simon Williams.

“Good fun. Addictive. Yes, every now and then I’d get a bit of an urge to bomb a train station and then take to the mountains, but I’d get that with Doodle Jump as well.”

It is understood that Google also plans to remove a game created by Turkish militants.

‘Angry Kurds’ should be gone within a few days.

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