Monday 4 April 2016 by Davywavy

Archers agricultural editor pretty much superfluous these days


The Archers, Radio 4

The agricultural expert employed to ensure The Archers is an accurate depiction of rural life spends his days playing minesweeper, we can confirm.

The Archers, which is an everyday tale of country folk, has a body count slightly higher than the Red Wedding in Game of Thrones leading some to question the necessity of employing someone who understands crop rotation and the difficulties of winter wheat.

“I’m just not sure what they need me for,” said Simon Williams, who studied at the Royal Agricultural university.

“The other day they asked me whether a pitchfork or a scythe was more suitable for a bloody murder and I had to admit I didn’t know as it wasn’t on the syllabus.

“There was this long silence before the scriptwriter asked me if I knew how much rat poison it would take to kill a man.

“I’m don’t know what any of this has to do with farming, if I’m honest.”

However, a Radio 4 spokesman insisted that agricultural knowledge was vital to ensure the show retained some verisimilitude.

“For the next episode we need to know if Tom’s sausage machine is a legitimate way to dispose of a corpse,” we were told.

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