Friday 1 April 2016 by Lucas Wilde

David Cameron’s steel industry April-Fool received ‘poorly’


Cameron April Fool

The steel industry has reacted with furious anger after the Prime Minister offered to nationalise it in a classic April fool’s ruse.

David Cameron called a press conference this morning, and opened with the statement “the government is fully behind the British steel industry, and we no expense will be spared in securing the job of each and every steel worker.”

“Then he waited for the applause to die down, before grinning and slowly raising a calendar in front of him with today’s date circled,” said steel worker, Simon Williams.

“He got as far as ‘April Foo-‘ before someone threw a girder clean into his forehead.

“It was a lovely shot, but then his aides swiftly carried him to the car before we could rush the cocky fucker.”

A spokesperson for Ten Downing Street said “The Prime Minister deeply regrets that you were offended by his little bit of gentle whimsy.

“He, and indeed the government, suggest that if you weren’t all so notoriously humourless and aggressive, you might have done something more useful with your lives such as becoming Prime Minister, rather than making the thing that makes up most other things like buildings and stuff.”

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