Thursday 31 March 2016

Man who opened jar to spend day feeling like a super hero


Stuck Jar

37-year-old Simon Williams will spend today feeling like a super hero after helping a female colleague open a stuck jar of powdered creamer.

Williams, a mild-mannered accountant from Maidenhead, is currently sat at least two inches taller in his ergonomically designed office chair, thanks to this morning’s incident, which he insists on calling ‘The Rescue’.

Receptionist Sally Turner was struggling to open the Coffee-mate – because she ‘doesn’t do dairy’ – but was seemingly facing the tragedy of a black coffee until Williams stepped in.

He told us, “I was passing the kitchen and noticed Sally looked to be in distress, so I did what anyone else would do.

“If you want to call me a ‘hero’, then so be it, but I think I just did what any slightly-above-average-strength man would do.

“I’m not saying Sally and I now have a Superman / Lois Lane thing going on, but I wouldn’t blame her if she had a little crush on me.

“She knows, any time she’s facing the peril of a stuck jar, I’m just a short cry for help away.”

We asked Sally for her recollection of events, and she told us, “I’m pretty sure I loosened it.”

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