Wednesday 30 March 2016

Thomas the Tank Engine producers forced to introduce white supremacist train


Thomas the Tank Engine

Producers behind the new Thomas the Tank Engine series have bowed to public pressure and will introduce a white supremacist character to combat ‘creeping multiculturalism’.

The team behind the children’s television show announced they were introducing 14 new ethnically diverse characters, but were heavily criticised by the sort of people who tut loudly to themselves when they get the brown waitress in the coffee shop.

In order to bring ‘balance’ to the show, the creative team will add Jayda, a steam locomotive from Basingstoke who is constantly furious at the trains from India, Poland and Syria who ‘come over here to take her jobs’.

Producer Simon Williams explained, “It think it’s fair to say that a lot of steam comes out of a Jayda’s chimney. Especially when she returns to the shed to find out Mohammed the Syrian train has moved in next door.

“We’ve got a whole episode where she complains to the Fat Controller that there isn’t enough room for Mohammed, and that he will probably be bringing dozens of Syrian carriages with him.

“She tries to drum up support for her cause by showing funny pictures to the other trains, but they don’t fall for it because they’re not idiots.

“Long story short, she gets a Twitter account, humiliates herself and then closes the account because everyone realises she’s a moron.

“Of course it’s fictional, why would you think otherwise?”

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