Wednesday 30 March 2016 by Gary Stanton

Public backs punishment for woman who refused to abort Donald Trump


Donald Trump abortion

Sane people worldwide have advocated ‘some form of punishment’ for the individual who went ahead and bore Donald Trump, despite sound medical advice to the contrary.

The survey is based on Trump’s latest assertion that what goes on in a woman’s womb is somehow some of his fucking business.

The Republican presidential nominee believes abortion should be illegal in certain states and is prepared to camp outside a clinic near you with pictures of a chopped up foetus.

And if the hotly-tipped contender gets his way, women’s rights across the United States will be on a par with those in the Republic of Ireland.

However Trump is prepared to consider each case on merit with a sympathetic hearing for anyone who’s been knocked up by a Mexican rapist.

The Republican front-runner’s stance has even been branded extreme by the kind of pro-lifer who protects the sanctity of life by making obscene calls to abortion doctors before shooting them in the head.

Trump’s birth some sixty years ago coincided with a rare alignment of stars in the constellation Cassiopeia that alarmed the midwife and a vaguely eccentric Catholic priest who was in the area at the time.

Further clues as to Trump’s true identity appeared on an ultrasound scan that featured two horn-like appendages and a curious birthmark behind the ear.

While the presidential hopeful has supported the Woman’s Right To Choose in the distant past, he now insists he meant Canada or prison.

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