Wednesday 30 March 2016 by Neil Tollfree

George Osborne puts the British Steel Industry on eBay


George Osborne to put steel industry on eBay

The Chancellor has claimed to have solved the current crisis regarding Tata’s plans to sell off their interests in the British Steel Industry by putting it all on Ebay.

“It has been claimed that re-Nationalising the Steel Industry is the only way to prevent plant closures and the loss of 15,000 jobs,” said Chancellor George Osborne as he breakfasted on champagne porridge served in a diamond slipper.

“However, by putting it on eBay, I am confident that we will be able to attract responsible owners who will have nothing but the best interests of the industry at heart.

“We’ve already got a legitimate businessman from Russia watching the listing.”

Mr Osborne was quick to counter claims that, like every time he’s been involved in selling any large institution, he’ll massively undervalue it so that it sells quickly and the Government doesn’t have to get involved in the tedious business of actually doing any work to look after people’s livelihoods.

“No, there’s a surprisingly robust reserve price on the listing; we learnt that back when we accidentally sold the Royal Mail to a half-drunk middle-aged woman in Wiltshire.”

He also revealed that if the reserve price isn’t matched he has a plan B ready to go.

“Gumtree.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: