Friday 25 March 2016 by Lucas Wilde

Johan Cruyff dummies St. Peter


Johan Cruyff

The late Johan Cruyff has wowed heaven’s door staff.

Football’s greatest innovator rocked up at heaven’s entrance with a ball under his arm to find St. Peter ready and waiting with a pair of goalkeeper gloves, stood poised in the middle of the pearly gates.

“Not just for him,” said St. Peter, “I always challenge entrants to a quick kickabout before they go in. I need to do something to keep me awake.

“But this was something else. Put the ball at his feet, ran at me, dropped his shoulder to the left, went right around me and it punted it right through the gates, the cocky scamp.

“It was a little embarrassing; luckily God wasnt there to see. He’s still teasing me about George Best putting three past me with a pint in his hand.”

Johan Cruyff represents one of the last football players who will get to play St. Peter, what with the current generation of adulterers, rapists and kiddie-fiddlers already having secured their one-way ticket to hell.

“And Satan is more of a crossfit fan, so have fun with that,” chuckled St. Peter.

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