Friday 25 March 2016 by Benedict Farkerhausen

Hot Star and Crescent buns outselling hot-cross buns five to one, claim supermarkets


Star and Crescent buns

Hot star and crescent buns are selling out across the country in what is the clearest sign of Britain’s Islamification yet, supermarket analysts are reporting.

As the streets of Britain apparently fill with an overwhelming majority of Muslims, supermarkets have capitalised with a range of Islam friendly treats in the run up to Easter.

Simon Williams, product development manager for Tesco, said: “Everyone keeps banging on about all these Muslims coming over here, so we thought it was a great opportunity to develop a new range of products in keeping with their beliefs and allowing them to enjoy a British tradition.

“They’ve been selling like halal hot cakes. For every single hot cross bun we sell, we are selling almost half a dozen star and crescent ones, and we are really happy with the result.

“However, not every product has been a success in our Muslim-friendly range and we are taking feedback on board so that we won’t repeat the mistake of chocolate Mohammeds next year.”

Disgruntled shopper Martin Philips said: “Why are we always pandering to them? If we went to Muslim land, you can bet that we wouldn’t be able to get anything that’s symbolic to Christians.

“Bread? No chance. Fish? Think again. Them little wafers? Not in a million miles of Mecca I reckon.”

Another shopper added: “These are Muslim buns?! I just thought they were night-time buns.”

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