Thursday 24 March 2016

Croydon confronted over arseholes


Croydon Arsehole small

Croydon has offered a mealy-mouthed reply after being challenged about the number of apparent arseholes roaming free on its streets.

After being asked to explain arseholes like Croydon resident Matthew Doyle, Croydon merely shrugged its shoulders and said, “Nothing to do with me.”

The response has angered many people, who think Croydon should be doing more to stop arseholes going around doing arsehole things and confronting people in an arsehole way.

Resident of neighbouring Sutton, Simon Williams told us, “Croydon has an arsehole problem, everyone knows that, but they don’t want to do anything about it, do they.

“Secretly they’re happy with the arseholes, and probably have gangs of hardcore arseholes training more arseholes in private, hoping to flood the streets with arseholes in the coming weeks and months. They want this to be an arsehole country.

“They’ll probably be using organisations like ‘strategic PR firms’, which are really nothing more than fronts for the radicalisation of yet more Croydon arseholes.

“Lock ’em all up and throw away the key, it’s the only way.”

However, Croydon itself was quick to leap to its own defence, telling reporters, “How about we consider this Matthew Doyle bloke as a complete arsehole first and foremost, and try to ignore the fact that he just happens to be from Croydon?

“Yes, this arsehole was from Croydon, but it doesn’t necessarily mean everyone from Croydon is an arsehole.”

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