Wednesday 23 March 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Stupidity to be redefined in wake of political Right’s response to Brussels attacks


Katie Hopkins

The whole nature of stupidity is to be redefined following the responses to the Brussels attacks from some the political Right’s most well-known figures.

“Stupid simply isn’t a big enough word,” said Professor of idiocy Simon Williams.

“Firstly we had UKIP linking the cause of the ‘Out’ campaign to the attacks as they seemingly believed it was acceptable to use the deaths of 30 people and injuries to scores more to further their relatively minor bureaucratic and economic cause.

“We were still fine here because, ‘galactically stupid,’ ‘monstrously stupid,’ ‘mind-bogglingly stupid,’ would all have sufficed is describing their actions.”

However, the etymological problems really started with intervention from the only man in America less appealing than Donald Trump – Ted Cruz.

“His suggestion was to have ‘police patrols in Muslim neighbourhoods of America,’ as if history is littered with examples of heavily-armed men persecuting people for their culture and religion and it working out really well for all concerned.

“At this point, you have to start using expletives – ‘f**king stupid,’ ‘c**ting stupid,’ ‘f**king c**ting stupid’.

“They’re okay, but we’re starting to struggle a little for sufficient emphasis.”

It was, as is so often the case, the intervention of Katie Hopkins that proved too much for the nature of stupidity.

“She suggested that helping people fleeing war and persecution was the cause of the Brussels attacks.

“I have a potted plant that has a more nuanced grasp of the situation than Ms Hopkins, so when someone is more stupid than a potted plant I’m afraid we need a new word.”

Professor Williams’ suggestion was simple – ‘Idiostupidfuckwitery’.

“It’s a trifle long, but ‘Idiostupidfuckwitery,’ seems to sum up the Right’s response to the Brussels attacks very well.”

The Oxford English Dictionary has confirmed that it will be including ‘Idiostupidfuckwitery,’ in the next edition but is unsure whether to define it or just have picture of Katie Hopkins next to the word.

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