Wednesday 23 March 2016 by Davywavy

Dinosaur hipsters were fans of Antarctica before it was cool, paleontologists confirm


Dinosaur hipsters

Dinosaur hipsters were big fans of Antarctica before it was cool, according to paleontologists.

The southern continent, which is today regarded as really, really cool due to the average temperature of -49 degrees, was popular with dinosaurs in pork pie hats and lumberjack shirts, like, millions and millions of years before that happened.

The announcement follows the discovery of an almost complete fossil Stegosaurus bearing a Mumford and Sons album and an ironic tattoo of a Pterodactyl.

At the same time evidence has emerged of a Tyrannosaur with a waxed moustache saying Gondwanaland had ‘lost it’ and ‘sold out’.

“Of course everyone thinks that Antarctica is cool now but there were a few pioneering species of dinosaur which were just really fucking keen to let everyone know how they got there first,” we were told.

“What we today know as Antarctica was once a lush tropical paradise, but even in those early days a few sauropod pioneers were moving in and opening boutique hotels and pop-up cycad street food outlets.

“We believe the fossil record shows that the local residents, largely primitive relatives of the Trilobite, protested against gentrification in a situation almost identical to the social conflict seen in areas like London’s Tower Hamlets but were eventually displaced by a large colony of pipe-smoking Hadrosaurs.”

Experts have concluded that the annihilation of hipster dinosaurs by a dirty great meteor sixty-five million years ago was overall a pretty good thing, and with any luck Hoxton might be struck by a mile-wide lump of space rock sooner rather than later.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: