Sunday 20 March 2016

Iain Duncan Smith to travel land fighting social injustice and protecting underdogs


Iain Duncan Smith Kung Fu

Former work and pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith is to wander the land helping people fight social injustice and defending those who cannot defend themselves.

Talking to Andrew Marr on BBC One this morning, Smith explained that he could no longer stand idly by and watch the innocent suffer, and would now use his Shaolin training to help others whilst searching for his own inner peace.

When pressed on why he has resigned now, despite spending the last six years doing everything within his power to cut spending on the poor and disabled, Smith said the time was ‘right’.

He explained, “Master Po told me that one day this moment would come, when my training would allow me to finally help fight injustice in ways that others cannot.

“With fighting and stuff, not via well thought through and calculated strategic political moves, obviously.”

Smith then removed his suit to reveal the robes of a Shaolin master, before sitting cross-legged on the floor before Marr.

He went on, “I will take labouring jobs during the day, before using my martial arts training to right social wrongs at night.

“I’ll probably start by kicking George Osborne in the head.

“Oh, and vote to leave the EU, obviously.”

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